Bride's Return Visit (归宁 - Gui Ning) is an important part of traditional Chinese wedding customs. It primarily refers to the etiquette and custom where the newlywed couple returns to the bride's natal home after the wedding to visit her parents, relatives, and friends. This custom has a profound cultural background and social significance in ancient times, with different manifestations in various regions.
The term "Gui Ning" first appeared in the Book of Odes (Shi Jing), in the section Odes of Zhou and the South (Zhou Nan), poem Ge Tan: "I tell the matron, I tell her I am returning." Here, "returning" (归 - Gui) refers to returning to the natal home. "Ning" (宁) means peace and tranquility. Therefore, together, "Gui Ning" means the daughter returning to her parents' home after marriage to report that she is safe and well. This custom reflects the ancient society's emphasis on family ethics within marital relationships, especially maintaining the woman's relationship with her family of origin after marriage.
Time Selection: Traditionally, the time for the return visit is mostly chosen on the third day after the wedding, known as the "Third-Day Return Visit" (三朝回门 - San Chao Hui Men). However, this may vary according to the specific circumstances of different regions and families; in some places, it might take place about a month after the wedding.
Preparing Gifts: The newlywed couple needs to prepare some gifts to bring back to the bride's family. Common items include fruits, pastries, tobacco, and alcohol, expressing respect and gratitude to the bride's parents and family. Some regions also have specific gift requirements, such as including pork trotters and misua (thin noodles), symbolizing longevity, completeness, and perfection.
Visiting Process: On that day, the groom and bride will go to the bride's home together and pay their respects to the father-in-law and mother-in-law. During this time, a small family gathering or banquet for relatives and friends might be held to enhance understanding and affection between the members of both families.
Farewell Ceremony: After the visit concludes, the bride's family usually hosts a banquet and gives blessings to the newlywed couple upon their departure, sometimes also gifting some items as souvenirs.
With the passage of time and changes in social concepts, the form and significance of "Gui Ning" are constantly adjusting. Today, in many places, this custom may be simplified or given new content. For example, the time might be changed to a weekend or other convenient days, or some couples may even choose forms like a destination wedding to replace the traditional "Gui Ning."
In conclusion, as a ceremonial activity with a long history, "Gui Ning" has retained its core cultural values while also demonstrating a certain degree of flexibility and adaptability during its inheritance and development. It is not only a respect for and inheritance of traditional culture but also one of the important ways for emotional communication between people in modern society.
